I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
