There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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