I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize