no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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