Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
