We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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