I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
