I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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