my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?