It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
