i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
