i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
