I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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