are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My vagina is very pro this idea
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
