sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
