I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
