is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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