I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
