I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
