so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
