i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Shame - the story of my life.
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