NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
where am i from again
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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