What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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