I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
