I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
