She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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