o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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