Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
