it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
