we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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