I cockslap morals
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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