Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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