DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
