Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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