Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
