I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
