real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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