why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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