Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
