I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
