and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
