What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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