She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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