I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
