Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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