Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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