Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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