You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
