he puts the penis in happiness.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
