you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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