im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
