i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
