All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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