I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
