He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
