If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
