She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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