Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
