If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
