i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
