bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
