Im at strip club and am horny
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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