in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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