i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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