if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
